Saturday, April 29, 2006

Scalars and Touchstones

Direction. What the crap are my goals? Where on Earth are they going to take me? Why are they so important? What should be important about them? Questions, questions. They should be asked in reverse order.

I feel like a scalar--that is to say, a magnitude with no direction. A scalar at it's best can only sit down and marvel at just how voluminous it is. "Wow!" says the Scalar. "I sure am big!" And that is about all it can say for itself. It is a holographic horn-of-plenty spilling out on sand. No one wants to be a Scalar. Even the tiniest little vector is being more useful as it presses on the Wall of Berlin. An amorphous blob of glory does nobody any good, and as Carlyle observed: all thought must end in action. I cannot expect to be happy if my power, whatever that may be, is dwindled to nothing more than "I sure am big!"

Oh, but it's scary! A direction is something that is difficult to choose. In the past I've let influences make my decisions for me, believing whatever direction I fell into would be God's plan and that everything would be okay. I mean, the worst I would ever have to do would be to deal with life every once and a while. But life... Life is not supposed to be dealt with; it is much more enjoyable when lived! This has been my realization of the year, and so has been the recognition (or perhaps assumption) of my Scalar status. Before, I didn't even realize I had a magnitude or even a true capacity to choose a direction. I always just assumed I'd fall into one as I always had. That was great. Now I have responsibility to choose for myself not because somebody is making me, but because it WILL be chosen. It may be chosen quickly and ignorantly or I may just drift into the stream and hope there isn't a waterfall at the end, but either way I will have made my choice, and I will have nobody to hold that to but myself.

Love is great thing. Perhaps the best of things in which a decision can take root. Love connects all people with no regard for matter. It is the form of compassion, sympathy, empathy, service, emotion, and telling somebody they look nice today. It is in grief and sorrow and pain and acceptance. It is the empathetic imagination and any goal that has no grounds in love is probably not that great of a goal. I keep this in mind and think of it as a working definition.

So it is no secret: Goals are nearly synonymous with direction. Life Goals are foci and touchstones for every activity we take part in and guide our thoughts and what are minds will be molded to. They cannot be untouchable, and they cannot be fickle. How do I form them? I don't know the exact answer to that, but I do have a certain direction in mind.

1) What should be important?
-Tough Question, but it's really the first question that must be answered. It's like setting goals for my goals. Finding out what truly matters to me and why it matters to me will help me know how to value the things and activities of my life. Levels of importance should also be determined. This is the same as setting priorities. Is happiness important? Free time? Family? Friends? Pets? How? How much?

2) How should my goals reflect what is important?
-Okay, I figured out what's important. Now, I need to figure out how those important things are going to be translated into philosophies of living. What are my mottoes? What are my themes? Every one of my goals should line up with my general philosophy of importance so that I remain focused and uneasily fooled into things that I don't think are good.

3) How will my goals bring me closer to what is important?
- I think I've figured out how my goals will reflect importance, so now I need to know how they will actually translate into practicality. How will what's important translate into doable achievements, physical directions, and actual decisions. Understanding my capabilities and motivations, what things can I achieve or acquire that will make me a living example of what I think is important?

4) What the crap are my goals?
-Now I need to make a list. First of long-term goals: as specific as I can feasibly make them so that my shorter-term goals can be working toward them. Then work backwards from there until the NOW.

5) How do I test my goals to make sure they are good ones?
-I have to be able to test every aspect above at that level of development so that I'm not just shooting blind and working toward something that isn't actually in vain or destructive. I haven't actually figured out how to do that yet, but I would be a great thing to have a touchstone for it all. Maybe that's God. Make nothing untouchable or fickle.

All in all, this in is itself is a goal that has passed though all 5 stages, just without some written law. I don't expect it to be quick, but I think it will be fun and something to think about. It is important to have direction, and I'm finding that out more everyday.

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